I invited some of my closest friends over Sunday night for a movie. Parents were going to be out for the night so I had the whole house to myself. I was so excited as Pam, Josh and I sat at the table waiting for the rest to arrive. Then, in the middle of making brownies God gave me a vision. I saw my friends and I standing in my living room holding hands and praying. It shook me for a second. Are you serious God? I pondered the thought a moment and God was like “Amber, what a great opportunity to pray for the warfare going on in your family than to have some of the most faithful servants of God in your house all at once. Take advantage of your time you have together.” To bring it up to date, my family is going through some crazy warfare right now. They are barely holding themselves together… So after everyone arrived and we ate some food and hung out a while, I asked if they would all join me in prayer. I filled them in on some things going on in my family as the tears came down my cheeks, I noticed I was speaking out to warriors. We prayed together for a while and then the men split up into different areas of my house while the girls went in my room to pray with and for me. I cant explain the presence of God I felt. There was hurt, joy, healing, and Peace.  Having all of them in my room with their battle faces on and their swords up ready to fight for me. We were quickly met by the Lord and his angels. It was one of the most intense moments of my life! To paint a picture, surrounding me were Alicia, Pam, and Jessica. Afterwards the girls and I walked out of my room as the guys were walking in and out of my parents room praying, on the living room floor, reading scripture…. It was amazing. ( Kyle, Josh, and Jonathan) We eventually gathered in the living room and prayed for our church leaders, Pastors, the Refuge, this generation… God spoke to Jess and Kyle about their ministry. It was beautiful, sweetly beautiful.

It was hard to just go into the movie after being met with such a mighty God. The remaining hours were spent with small talk, chocolate, coffee, laughing and Evan Almighty….

I dont know what it was about that night, but I am changed. Not just because of the encouragement and prayer from friends, but God released something in us that night. I dont know yet what it is. My heart and spirit feel stronger, more aggressive. Of course after a powerful gathering you are so excited and want to do it every week! I was thinking how we should already be doing tese things every week. Gathering with Christians who truly believe in the power of the Lord no matter what the circumstance. To pray for our generation, struggling families, hungry churches, a dying people…   

Things God already expects of us.

 Are we meeting His expectation of who we are to be as Christians? Do we even come close… I wonder.

I work in a call center. Constantly people are calling in for this in that with all sorts of problems. The one thing they all have in common is that they are needingsomeone to help them. Today I had this lady on the phone who was just furious. From the moment I answered her call she just went on about a payment on her account and how rediculous it is she is getting charged a late fee for a bounced check. She was rude as all get out to me. So I just sat there in silence until she finished. It wasnt till she said”hello.?” that I spoke up, a little irritated myself and said “yes.” She went on talking about her job as an art teacher and how she gets paid crap and is treated like crap by her co-workers. Then she continued to talk about how she is so broke and has to go to her mother for money only for her mom to use it against her in the long run… It just went on and on.. She finally just asked if she could get the $20 fee reversed. It took me a second to think about that. Honestly, I was battling in my head. I wanted to say “well, since you were so polite, Ill go ahead and do that for you….” realizing this call is recorded, I decided not to.
First off, she was rude to me. Why does she deserve to have a fee reversed for the way she spoke to me. Then I began pondering would she appreciate it if I did reverse it. I mean, I could just say no and that was that. So I gave it a minute to sink in and as much as my pride told me to just say no, something inside of me wanted to give her grace. So I reluctantly told her I would reverse it. There was a pause and I heard her sobbing on the phone as she told me how much she appreciated it. Almost as if she had expected me to say no and was surprized I had done her a favor. Something on the inside of me started to break as I listened to her heart cry. Her hard surface had immidiately softend as she began to fall apart.
This lady was broken and hurting on the inside to the point where in order to keep herself form falling apart she had to put up a front of anger. It was obvious that not many people show her mercy in life. Not at her job, not even her own mother. I cant imagine how she must feel. She was desperate for someone to cut her a break. When I did, I didnt realize how much of an affect it would have not only on her, but on me. I had to place her on hold and pull myself together. My tears were a mixture of compassion for her heart and guilt for me being prideful. Who am I to with hold mercy. Am I better than these. Jesus tells us to love, and to have mercy and forgiveness for our enemies. Yet many times our reaction is to be on the defense ready to fight back. What about mercy. What about grace. The two things we beg God for daily but yet are so uptight and bitter when it comes to giving it out. How can we be so selfish as to keep such a gift to ourselves. I am ashamed. The whole point of mercy is that it is undeserved, and yet freely given. None of us deserve mercy. Not a one. It’s only by His love that we ar forgiven and have grace to fall back on. But what about those who dont have His grace. They are depending on you and I. That is where we have to be the Jesus in their lives.

It was a struggle to have mercy on that woman. I had to lay down my pride. Let go of my attitude and show some grace. Looking past the circumstance and into the heart of the matter. She was hurting.
If only we knew what a difference a little mercy can make in someones life. If only we showed others half the mercy God shows us. What kind of men and women of God we would be. Better yet, what kind of men and woman of God would they be…
When I hung up the phone, I was humbled. I asked God to forgive me. And you know what He said?
“My grace is sufficient for you”