I have been noticing some things I need to change about myself. I’ve recently realized that I focus too much on trying to please people rather than God.  My insecuritys are not so much on who I am but on gaining others approval for who I am.

Now that I know who I am in Christ, are others going to like me for me?          

    It’s been hard trying to figure out why I feel this way. I mean, who really cares what others think about me.. All that matters is what God thinks, right?

 I’d like to place the blame on someone as the reason I am this way, but even I know you can put blame on anyone you want but that still doesn’t change who you are… I am having to learn to take those things that I question to God. I have no other choice but to lay them at His feet where they belong. I have been agreeing with the lies of the enemy for so long that it feels like I am laying down a part of who I am; who I have always been.  

The thing about trying to please people is that it’s impossible to do. It has an empty gratification to it. I have learned recently that I can make as many people happy as I want. I can even help as many people as humanly possible but if it’s not for the glory of pleasing God, than it means nothing. It in itself is empty. No matter how many people thank you or praise you. Ultimatly what it comes down to is, would God take praise in you?

I am only scratching the serface here, I will continue this tomorrow. Please feel free to leave any questions or comments you might have.

Ok so it has taken me a little over a week to adjust back into the Floridian lifestyle… Honestly, it’s like going from one extreme to the next… Fort Collins, CO moved me. My heart is forever drawn there. One day I imagine I shall return for a visit…

The Lord was so gracious to illuminate many things in my heart while on this trip. It wasn’t like revelation where your coming to terms with something for the first time but God was reminding me of all the things He had already spoken over my life that I had somehow overlooked…

Here are some things I will NOT forget. (thank you Jimmy)

• Friday nights conversation with Leslie Ludy (remaining pure for Christ not just a future husband)
• Annie’s prayer over Alicia and I about hiding ourselves in the Lord
• The rocky mountain trip with Jimmy and the snow and the car ride
• Alicia’s dream  (that made us bawl) about standing on a table telling the lost about Jesus
• You can never get lost – mountains are always to the west
• How beautiful Colorado State University is
• All the people riding bikes
• Eric and Leslie Ludys passion for The Orphans (over 4 million in the world today)
• Missing our flight home and having to wait 4 hours in the Denver airport for the next flight to Atlanta
• The hour we spent in the airports chapel praying

This trip has just been so refreshing to me. I could not give justice to all that I have experienced by simply saying it was amazing or beautiful… because in truth it has been all of those wonderful words and more. So much more…

 I thought this weekend get-away would be healing for my fragile heart, and in many ways it was. But, as a whole, I believe God’s purpose for this trip was to illuminate things that were in my life (good and bad) This was revealation for me.

I feel as if God has been pealing the scales from my eyes to see my hearts true condition but at the same time to see the true glory of Jesus. My heart and spirit have just been so exhausted. All I have been wanting to do is cry. I found myself crying while driving to the hotel from the airport. I was hlding back the lump in my throat while listening to Leslie Ludy share her vision with me. I was swelling up when we were driving back from the rocky mountains thinking about how beautiful Gods glory is. I was crying while reading my bible and sharing my hearts calling with Alicia..

I thought this weekend was going to be an energy booster, but all I find myself doing is crying! And I’m not going to lie. It feels good. I feel like by doing so, my vulnerability is allowing God to pick up my heart and just love on it however he choses to……

Oh, how he has longed for us to slow down just enough for Him to catch us…

There is so much more to add to this, but right now I need to grab a tissue.

I am an orphan.

I am a child without a father.

I am the beggar at your feet.

In you …the Orphan finds mercy in you.

In you… the Orphan finds mercy in you.

I am the Orphan.

I am the child.

I wanna be alone with you… Lord I wanna be with you.

Take my joy.

Take my home.

Take everything and make me an orphan so that I can go and run to you.

Make me new.

Steal my joy.

Take my hope so I can run after you.

-Alicia Medina

I will sing a song of joy to your name

and I will rejoice.

I will rejoice.

I will sing a song of praise to your name

and I will bring you praise.

I will praise your name.

I will sing a song of hope to your name.

and I will hope in you.

My hope is in you.

I will sing a song of Love to you.

and you are my love song.

Lord how I love you.

Have you ever had God deal with your heart about a certain issue until finally you say “Okay, I give up!”

It seems that when God has something to say to me, He finds a million different ways to say it until I get it. I don’t know about you, but after the first couple times of having said something I get irratated having to repeat the same thing over and over to someone… I don’t know how God puts up with it.

Lately the Lord has been speaking to me about Surrender. The simple act of surrender can mean many things to people. Most specifically to me, it means Freedom. 

There are some things in my life that the Lord is telling me it’s time to let go of… wounds from my past that I have been struggling to forgive and let go of. Honestly, it’s the fear that keeps me holding on, because I know that once I surrender them to God, Im going to have to do things that are uncomfortable to my nature.

Isn’t that where we find ourselves many times. Torn between the two… The bad thing about it is that by carrying the burden of unforgiveness, it’s like we’re saying to God “I don’t trust you.” Not only that, but as Christians, we are commiting a sin not to forgive someone and at the same time expect Gods grace over our lives… Whats up with that!?

Is it time for you to surrender something to God?

Forgiveness is not something anyone deserves. No one is worthy of God’s grace, yet he freely gave His only son, Jesus. Even though it may not seem like it, by forgiving others you are freeing and forgiving yourself. You are allowing yourself the healing your heart has been hurting for. When we surrender those things that have been keeping us in chains for so long, we are giving God control and saying “I trust you.” That’s when Jesus takes over and begins the healing process.

Healing comes from Surrender.

Don’t live in fear of being free.  Sometimes that’s the only thing delaying your healing.

…” who’ve ever had a broken heart… who’ve wished upon a shooting star.. you’re beautiful the way you are…This one’s for the girls……. who’ve loved without holding back…. who’ve dreamed with everything they have… all around the world…. This one’s for the girls.”  – Martina McBride

     Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed of meeting my prince charming. I was cinderella in the childhood games, awaiting her handsome prince to come rescue her from the not so happy ending of a life. The whole point of living was to find your prince, fall madly in love and marry him. Then… bam! There would be my happy ending. All would be right with the world. You could only imagine my disappointment at the end of the movie as I pulled it out of the VCR and placed it back on the shelf with the other happy endings. There was always that nagging feeling as I wondered when my prince would come for me… or worse, was I worth rescuing, like those beautiful princesses in the fairytales I loved so much.

     It’s something every girl and woman struggles with. That is a fact… It is who we are… More so, it is who we were made to be. Truth be told, most of us feel less like a princess as we get older. The fariytale fades away like a terrible memory we try to block out. We have run out of reasons why we would be worth fighting for…

That is….. until Jesus came.

     I dont know where this is going but here it goes any how… I have always thought I was waiting for my prince charming. I just had no idea he would actually be a real prince… Please allow me to apologize, for I have gone about this the wrong way in the past. I have been caught many times in the idea of protecting my purity only for my future husband who will one day be worthy of the love I have to give…

Lord forgive me, I had forgotten that I was already married to not just a prince, but a King.

     Jesus, is the lover of not only my heart, but yours. He is who we save our purity for.. I know this is going to break some mans heart but no one will ever be good enough for you ladies. I can’t believe I just said that, but I believe it’s true. No man will ever be good enough because none can compare to Jesus. He is your true love prince. (You are worth being sought after – don’t get me wrong, Im by no means saying women should remain single and married to Jesus for the rest of their lives. He is just your first love. The earthly man that God will bring into your life is someone who will fight for your heart by seeking the Lord for it, because he knows only Jesus is worthy of your heart.  Thats how you’ll know) 

     Jesus is the one you stayed up all hours of the night dreaming would come to your rescue and sweep you off your feet with a rose in his hand (or mouth ). And ladies, Disney isn’t the only place where dreams come true =) No matter where your heart is, whether your married, single (like myself), divorced, widowed or just a little girl still believing in fairytales… Dont stop believing… Jesus has come to captivate your heart and awaken the desires of a happy ending once again….

He came because you were worth it to Him… He will never stop seeking after your heart.

This is your dream come true, You are a Princess.

Yea, you heard me……. I’m talking about you.

You, (fill in your name) are Glorious.

“Why am I glorious?” You ask…. “What’s so special about me?”……. You say….

It’s simple. It’s not what about you thats special or glorious, it’s the one who lives in you who makes you  glorious… And that my friend, is Jesus.

Can I be honest… Too many times I find myself getting caught in the lies of the enemy that say a life of mediocrity is all there is. It tells me to do enough to get by. A lie that says slack off every chance you get. And here’s the biggest lie of them all, You’ll never be good enough.

Please please dont let the enemy decieve you into thinking enough is enough…   You see,  

“There’s a glory to your life that the enemy fears and he is Hell-bent on destroying that glory before you act on it” (John Eldredge- waking the dead)

• Woman of God, there is a beauty about you that was meant to reflect the radiance of your King. Believe….
• Man of God, there is courage and boldness deep inside you that no lie of the enemy can come up against. Stand….

He who is on the inside of you is Greater than he who is in the world. Don’t get discouraged when you fall short of His glory. Dont let the enemy defeat you. You are glorious not because you forget to have a devotional or because you let it slip in 5 o’clock traffic….. You are glorious because the King of Glory covers you with His grace in such a way that you and I share His same glory…

Don’t give up my Brother and Sister. This is an on going battle, not for Victory- that is already accomplished- but a battle for your life, your heart and your glory…

It’s okay… Be Glorious… For Him.